Today is Thanksgiving Lord. Right now in this moment is where I need to be. Me and you. I’ve been sidetracked, busy, distracted and busy some more. Lord forgive. Help me to remember you are my first love. Funny how I can get lonely and I’m listening to love songs. Lord you are the one that never lets me down. Never leaves my side. Never says to me “I have nothing to say”. Never ignores me. You, oh God, hear everything I have to say and actually care about what I have to say. You hear my spoken words and even when I don’t speak, you know my thoughts. You desire intimacy with me in ways I’ve never known and no one else can give. You are truly the love of my life. The lover of my soul. You refresh and replenish me. You restore me. Give me hope. You give encouragement for my soul. You literally give me goosebumps. Make me giddy with joy and make me drop to my knees and awe and wonder. You are majestic. You are my king, my hope, My Savior. My redeemer. My friend. My everything.
You catch every one of my tears and know what each tear was cried for. You understand me completely. Inside and out. You know when I’m being a brat, snotty, attitudinal. You know when I struggle with insecurity and judgment. You know all these things. When I compare myself to others and wonder if I’m good enough. God you know! And yet, you still love me unconditionally. You cherish me. You want me to want you. You open your arms wide to me always. You give all of you to me so personally, so completely, and lovingly, and want every part of me. The good, bad, and ugly. The filthy rags that I am. All of me. You want me to just be honest with you. You already know everything about me but want me to be open and honest and speak the truth about myself so I can be set free and not be in bondage. You care about me that much! In you I can be myself. Totally set free. No Chains. No shackles. No lies. No putting on face. You give me strength. It’s your strength when I don’t think I can go on. When I get full of fear, have anxious thoughts, when I fret over things, you lovingly ask me to give all my cares to you. Because you will carry the load. You tell me I’m not meant to carry the load and that you gladly take the load from me. Even when I struggle to give it to you, you gently remind me to let you have it.
You don’t condemn me when I fall short. You watch me, nudge me gently and when I return to you, repent and ask for forgiveness, you rub my back and wipe my tears from my eyes and tell me it’s okay. You already knew and know everything I do and died on the cross and rose for it. You have me covered. Speaking of covering, you cover me in all my ups, downs, and mess. You cover me in your grace and give me a chance to get it together. You cover me in private, deal with me, correct and discipline me in love so that I can shine bright reflecting your love, light, and glory in public. You keep setting me free continually and progressively so my integrity is intact. So I’m the same and public and in private. I’m your image bearer. You keep working with me patiently, molding me. Refining me and shaping me to be more like you everyday. You never ever give up on me. Ever. When I didn’t know and realize you were working behind the scenes of my life, you never left me or gave up.
Right here and now, the greatest thing about all of this, is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are doing the same for my family. The same tender loving care you show me is the same you give each of my family members. And you are also, day by day, helping me to be a reflection of you to them. You are using me for my family. Lord I love you and thank you for that privilege. Thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for my lineage. Another day and chance after chance. Thank you for salvation and sanctification. Thank you for wholeness and holiness. Thank you for provision, safety, and protection. Thank you for you. Thank you for the freedom that I live in everyday. The inner healing that I get to experience everyday. Thank you that my family will have the same freedom and that you’re using me as an example for them. Thank you for loving me so Jesus.
The Apple of Your Eye